He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
