Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
