wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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