I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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