addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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