I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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