All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize