I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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