Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
