Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
