i can't believe i had my finger in that
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
