I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hippo gnu deer
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
