And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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