Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
