And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
