Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He passed out mid-signature
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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