Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
