but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
