i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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