so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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