that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
