you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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