he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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