If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
