No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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