I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I party with great urgency now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
