girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
