Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
