I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
