I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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