I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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