Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
