The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
