HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
