And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
