Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+? http://tfl.nu/fsug
  Replies (15) Good night (9247) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap http://tfl.nu/sdgt
  Replies (9) Good night (3755) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift http://tfl.nu/dh45
  Replies (19) Good night (4355) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast. http://tfl.nu/dcvd
  Replies (26) Good night (1802) Bad night (3493)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1915) Bad night (2005)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
  Replies (12) Good night (831) Bad night (2802)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party. http://tfl.nu/277a
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP http://tfl.nu/udxy
  Replies (18) Good night (877) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass. http://tfl.nu/8h53
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10. http://tfl.nu/gv39
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday? http://tfl.nu/k0ma
  Replies (8) Good night (673) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/55s3
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor. http://tfl.nu/8do3
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong. http://tfl.nu/0nti
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (245)

Randomize