Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  dude did u upper deck my toilet?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  haha like two months ago

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u

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  (314): dude did u upper deck my toilet? (1-314): haha like two months ago (314): i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u http://tfl.nu/8xxw
  Replies (38) Good night (1035) Bad night (4401)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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  (724): dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings http://tfl.nu/fi5x
  Replies (11) Good night (1054) Bad night (4697)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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  (508): Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby http://tfl.nu/pq9s
  Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (2915)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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  (215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92
  Replies (25) Good night (739) Bad night (5499)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.

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  (619): I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue. http://tfl.nu/sfkc
  Replies (56) Good night (878) Bad night (5734)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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  (772): I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die. http://tfl.nu/szbq
  Replies (26) Good night (966) Bad night (3927)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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  (703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a
  Replies (4) Good night (3006) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
  Replies (11) Good night (3203) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there

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  (410): i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there http://tfl.nu/vhdj
  Replies (13) Good night (3375) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....

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  (765): the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians.... http://tfl.nu/hvak
  Replies (15) Good night (4292) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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  (914): Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs. http://tfl.nu/123h
  Replies (12) Good night (1208) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.

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  (734): This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts. http://tfl.nu/fqt4
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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  (224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

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  (914): So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me.. http://tfl.nu/9pe5
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

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  (303): Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win. http://tfl.nu/fxme
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (498)

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