we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
