Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance

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  (401): The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance http://tfl.nu/1kat
  Replies (22) Good night (3748) Bad night (814)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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  (816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5
  Replies (40) Good night (4638) Bad night (589)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.

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  (765): yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker. (1-765): yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married. http://tfl.nu/4wae
  Replies (21) Good night (795) Bad night (2599)
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  (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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  (949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt
  Replies (48) Good night (1445) Bad night (7596)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6407) Bad night (1535)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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  (239): Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls? http://tfl.nu/pmwm
  Replies (11) Good night (5126) Bad night (956)
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  (626): View more from California

  Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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  (626): Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything... http://tfl.nu/rago
  Replies (19) Good night (2969) Bad night (803)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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  (+44): We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies. http://tfl.nu/dl0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (960)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex

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  (732): he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex http://tfl.nu/opy4
  Replies (4) Good night (1579) Bad night (1028)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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  (973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (1119)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox

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  (734): nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox http://tfl.nu/ge10
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (552)
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  (424): View more from California

  Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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  (424): Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo? http://tfl.nu/93zn
  Replies (24) Good night (1196) Bad night (508)
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  (925): View more from California

  Are sex swings allowed in dorms

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  (925): Are sex swings allowed in dorms http://tfl.nu/achv
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (352)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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  (814): I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag. http://tfl.nu/1d0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (374)
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  (707): View more from California

  I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."

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  (707): I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah." http://tfl.nu/2has
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (618)

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