Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes