I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...