Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.