I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Good thing I've started drinking again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to