I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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