My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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