I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
