Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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