i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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