I'm passing your future prison.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Pants are for mortals
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
