she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
