Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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