okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
