I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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