I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
