I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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