shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did you pee in the oven last night??
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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