I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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