do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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