we're chasing vodka with high fives
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
