I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
