even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
