My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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