I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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