called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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