You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
