his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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